ATF Issues New Alcohol Consumption Warnings

Looks like the Department of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms (ATF) has been pretty busy. Seems that the current warning label wasn’t specific enough so they’ve been working hard to come up with a better one.

After much deliberating, here’s their top ten choices.

1. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
2. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
3. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
4. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
5. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
6. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
7. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
8. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
9. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
10. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to mate outside your species.

Feel free to submit your own.

Tags: Beer
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